The Comparison Trap [9780281083350]

Too often, women hold each other back, bad mouthing and making unflattering comparisons. Social media give extra opportunities for negative comment. Are we trapped in our own battles, or entertained by the wars of other women, to the detriment of our own freedom and well-being? What would happen, asks Helen Roberts, if women ceased to compete and compare? What if we settled our conflicts and resolved instead to champion one another? To celebrate each other's victories?
Helen explores the complexities of female relationships in workplaces, families and friendship circles, using contemporary, historical, personal and biblical examples. She investigates Scripture to see how, through the work of the Holy Spirit, we can cease the all-too-frequent 'she wars'. She helps us recognise our own destructive tendencies and establish healthy habits which will enable women and their relationships to thrive. This will help us live more confidently as the daughters the Father intends us to be, free from envy or comparison.

PREACH REVIEW:

Helen Roberts tackles the question of why it is that women so often seem to want to compete with one another rather than offer support and celebrate other women’s achievements. She considers the ways in which women are encouraged to compare themselves negatively with others instead of recognising the good in themselves and others. She then sets out to challenge this thinking and offer women a set of tools, based on interactions between biblical women, to overcome the ‘comparison trap’ and build more positive relationships.

Roberts writes in a chatty, conversational style, which makes her book a very easy read if you can manage to see past her exuberant over-use of exclamation marks. She speaks out of her own experience and is deeply honest about her personal weaknesses. The strongest chapters are the ones that are most clearly based on biblical texts. As well as listening to the voices of women in both the Old and New Testaments, she also enlists Paul in showing how Christians are called to relate differently to others. These chapters would easily lend themselves to forming the basis of discussion group material if you are working with a group of women, or a starting point for a sermon series on women’s relationships.

Roberts comes from a charismatic evangelical perspective and readers may not agree with her take on everything. I found myself particularly troubled by her suggestion that God might not answer my prayers if I am at odds with another woman in my life. Yet there is much here that is helpful and thought-provoking. This would be an excellent gift to give to a young Christian woman.

Preach magazine book review by Anne-Marie Renshaw

Team Rector in the Thurstable and Winstree Team Ministry, Essex. Twitter @RectorTiptree.

AUTHOR: Helen Roberts is an inspirational author, speaker and leader. Healed from cancer in 1999, her life is now invested in encouraging people to grow in spiritual maturity. She serves part-time as Executive Minister of Wellspring Church (Watford), alongside a ministry in the wider community serving churches near and far. She has been married to Tim since 1994. They have three children and have lived in the Watford area since the mid-1990s. Since 1998 Helen has shared the joy and challenges of leading Wellspring Church with a passionate commitment to see their vision to bring transformation to communities become a greater reality. She is also active in the civic sphere, working with community leaders to establish a new groundbreaking charity. Helen is an inspiring communicator who loves to help people step into greater freedom as followers of Christ.